Do you believe in God?


This is a HUGE, long, drawn out journal, but I ask that you please bear with me and read it. I hope that I might be able to tell you something, and give you my Testimony.

On Monday this past week I had to get up early and went to Grace Baptist Church. I was going to this 5 day program that was being held in Chattanooga, Tennessee. It was called Youth Alive, and my best friend Hillary had invited me to go with her and her other friend Tiffany. It would be difficult because, as I had mentioned in my last journal, on Saturday I had just come in from a week long trip from Kingsport, Tennessee (Woo hoo Funfest!).

As I got on the charter bus, we had a word of prayer from our youth pastor Dan Brothers. I thought, "Alright, prayer. Great. Just like Saint Agatha. Oh well, it'll be worth being with my friends."

At the time, while hearing the prayer, I was frustrated. You see, after going to Saint Agatha Academy, I had been incredibly annoyed with the aspect of Church and God. It was mandatory that every Thursday, we went to Mass. And I got used to it, but I never liked it...

I went through my first two years out of there without much thought of God or Jesus. I quit praying. I quit thinking the whole "What would Jesus do?" aspect. I believed that if I was living a good life, not killing, not stealing, and not committing any huge crimes, I would be alright. I was ok. So long as I believed there was a God and a Jesus, I would be able to go to heaven or some sort of Purgatory.

The schedule was mainly this. Every day, we had Service in the mornings and evenings, except for Wednesday because we were going to Six Flags (we still had service that evening though). I can say I was honestly dreading it. I was going through memory trips of St. Agatha. The whole "sit, stand, sing, kneel, sing, receive body and blood, repeat" kinda thing. So when I prayed on the bus with Dan, I "prayed" a little more... for spite than anything else.

So we get to the Tennessee Temple University and unpack our things, go to dinner, and go to Service. A band named Calling Levi sung the songs. It was like Top 40's kinda music, so it was rather enjoyable.

Except for the words.

I sat there, watching the people clapping and singing along to the music and raising their hands to praise the Glory of God.

And I felt nothing but anger. And frustration. And loneliness.

I found myself asking God, "Why am I not feeling you? Why can't you speak to me...? Why can't I feel what these people are feeling, the ones who raise their hands and shout Your glory...?" I was so angry that I was on the verge of tears...

Afterwards, a man by the name of Clayton King came out on the stage.

I can't remember exactly what that happened that night. But I remember these words being screamed to us:

"Somebody wants to kill you. He wants to kill you, and destroy you and steal your salvation. His name is Satan.

And you may think 'What am I to him? I'm not very important. There are people who matter much more to him than me.'

I can tell you this much. Satan wants you dead. He wants your soul. He knows that every day you live God is trying to speak to you, and that every day God might break through to you! Every day there is a chance that you might feel God's glory and that you might spread that glory to others! And Satan hates you for that!

And now you might say 'God doesn't really care about JUST me. He might say he does, but he's got bigger things to do, like worry about the whole world.'

God does care. God cares so much about you that he let his own Son die a slow agonizing death to save you.

It says in the Bible that the sin that was lain on the crucified Son was so great that God had to turn away from His own Son. But because Jesus took our sin for us, we are forgiven and we are now allowed into heaven.

You might not think that you as an individual are not important, but EVERY DAY Satan wants to take you from God, who gave EVERYTHING for you, and destroy your soul, your salvation!

I can tell you that there is a war going on right now for you, and it's a war like nothing this world has ever seen!! It's worse than anything you can possibly imagine, worse than World War I, worse than the War in Iraq!

And it's all for you.

The Devil as afraid right now, afraid because he knows that right now God is strong in this building, and he knows that he might not have a chance at getting to you, Damning you!

And I tell you now....

The Devil cannot get to you, so long as you stand with Christ and the Lord. He cannot touch you, and he cannot steal and kill and destroy you!! If you accept God, you will be guaranteed into heaven. And the Devil cannot harm you. You will be invincible.

But Satan doesn't play fair. Of course, Satan will try and make your faith in God waver. He will try and throw all the tricks in the book at you!

But if you are holding strong to God, He will comfort you and tell you it will be alright. He will stand by you, He will feel your pain, and help you to carry the burdens that the world has put on your shoulders.

And you will be accepted into the Kingdom of Heaven..."


I can tell you, that night, I was saved. God spoke through that single man who was on the stage, pouring his passion for us and for God into his every word.

And I was saved.

I accepted God as my Savior. I said, "God, I have finally heard you calling me. Forgive my sins, and deliver me to your loving arms. I have accepted you just you have always loved and accepted me."

And I was saved.

God spoke to me that night, and I am now guaranteed into heaven. God has promised me that I am completely accepted into the Glorious Kingdom and LET ME TELL YOU, God will not go back on his promises!! So long as you live for Him and listen to Him and not question what He has in store for you, you will go to Heaven!!

God knows what he is doing. He knows we are human and have flaws. But he accepts us and loves us for who we are.

All we have to do is open our hearts and do the same...

And I have done so.

Let me say that afterwards, I felt as though an enormous weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
Everything felt more clean, everything was clearer, brighter.
I felt as though I was.... Reborn in a way.... It was beautiful...

..... I can tell you that this has brought tears to my eyes, typing this right now. And I am not ashamed.

Tomorrow I am going back to Saint Baptist Church and I am hoping to ask Dan Brothers if I can get baptized. If not tomorrow, then soon. Very soon.

I can now proudly say I am a Christian, and this week Youth Alive has permanently changed me.

My soul has been saved, and I urge you to accept God. If you are not sure about your faith or where you lie with God, I suggest you go to this website: [link] and join a church that is going. Or maybe even convince a church to go to Youth alive.

I know that Youth Alive has not only changed me, but at least 200 out of the Thousands of children and teenagers who went.

Heheh, and to anyone who's actually read this far, I congratulate you deeply and cannot help but to say God bless you for listening to my testimony.

Thank you, and Thank you God.